Hm.....

Sometimes I think it would be easier to let it go. To not worry about it until I am older. But when I think about it not being in my life,.... I simply cannot imagine that. I need it. I strive for it. I long for it. I desire it. As it is now, it's hard. It's terribly difficult. But I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.  They say you don't know what you got until it's gone... well I know now.

The Lord Provides

I think today, I finally grasped the concept of trusting the Lord and he will provide.  With the world race, I had to have $150 in as soon as possible to be confirmed for this trip. Without this money, I am jsut accepted, but not actually 'on' the race yet.  I signed up to do this music research study through WAY-FM Colorado. It was planned for November 6, and so that day I go to where it was to be, and no one was there. I called. And complained. They had to reschedule and didn't call me. They said they would send a check to make up for my time. The study was rescheduled for today. I go and thankfully they were there!
I sign in and the lady sees who I am, so she hands me a $50 bill and says this is for last time. I then get my name entered into a drawing because I was at least 15 min early. As I wrote my name on that piece of paper, I prayed I would win (not to be selfish).  As I looked at the jar with the papers in it, I prayed I would win.  Halfway through the study, we did the drawing. As the lady was mixing the papers, I prayed I would win.  Then before I know it, SHE CALLS MY NAME!!!!!!!!! I just about cried right there. Other women in the room groaned that they didn't win, but I knew me winning, was an answered prayer from God.
I am sure everyone prayed that they would win, but I told God (kinda bargained, I suppose) That if I win this extra $50, that it will tremendously help with my mission trip. I never had a doubt in my mind that I would use it for my World Race deposit.
When the study was over, I got another $50!!
So today, I made $150 cash which is the EXACT amount I need for my deposit. When I signed up for this study, I originally planned on making $50 to help with Mexico, but it is obvious the Lord had other plans.

Peru

It kinda just hit me. How much I really really really miss Peru. I was doing okay. I was living. But after last night, I realized how much I miss Peru. The people. The children. Daniel.  AHH And it will be so long until I can go back. If I was able, I would pack up and go there right now. No strings attached.  I sometimes wonder why God called me onto the World Race right now.  It seems so opportune to go away for a year now, but I am sacrificing so much. I know that Jesus wants us to take up our cross and follow him, not worrying about anything at home, but this is easier said than done!

Honestly, I try not to think about it too much.  The pain and heartache I experience is sometimes too hard to bear.  I try to keep my eyes and mind focused on God and His plan for my life; ignoring my worldly desires.  Knowing that if I stay obedient to Him and His will for my life, than everything will work out how He wants it.  It is when I try to control things that they may go bad and who knows what may happen.

And though it may be hard, waiting is a blessing from God and surrendering my life to Him now, will make things better (relatively) in the long run.  I am coming to learn that God does want me in Peru for my future. That my heart breaks for the people there and nothing gives me more joy than to spend time with the hurting, the orphaned, and the lost in Peru.  With the World Race, I think God wants me to have more experience as a missionary before I embark on this journey for my life.  And though I will be going to 10 countries I have never been before and I may find things I love about each of these places and the people, I do feel deep down inside, that my life journey will end with me in Peru; loving and serving God there forever.

I've been accepted for the World Race!

Delayed reaction I know. I wanted to write a blog right after I got accepted (like a week and a half ago), but I couldn’t figure out what to write. I still can’t actually. I have so many mixed emotions about this. But I think excitement takes the top spot.  But I also feel fear. Fear of leaving and traveling the world for 11 months. Sadness. Sadness of leaving my mom, and family and friends for that amount of time. Hope. Hope that this will help me to either secure or reject the idea of being a missionary in the future.  Even since I went on my first mission trip to Botswana in 2007, I have felt the desire, to travel the nations and share the love of God with all people.  After Africa, I fell more in love with Latin American countries, and obviously with Peru.  I think with the World Race, that even though it goes to Peru and to two other South American countries, it also goes to Europe, Africa and Asia. I will be able to experience those countries for a long period of time to see if God has me called to one of those continents or to South America as I feel now. You never know what God has in store.

With this trip, I am very open-minded. I am not quite sure what to expect.  As of now, my total missions experience is almost 6 months, but this was broken up and is nowhere near the same to 11 months straight! Ha ha. I know it is going to be an amazing experience that I can’t wait to embark on.  I am worried about the funds, but I am trying not to stress about it.  I know that if God has called me on this trip, that he will help to provide all that I need. I do have a lot of fundraising in front of me. I am excited though.  To do different activities to raise the money to travel the world.

Please keep me in your prayers as I prepare for this trip.  As I get in touch with the word of God and strengthen my faith in Him every day. And as I get the word out about my trip that God would connect me with opportunities to raise the money. Praise God for this opportunity!